We’ve all started something and quit something. I’ve returned to running many times. Here I’ll tell you about my past experience.
I don’t know about you, but I had an absolutely idiotic equation drummed into my head:
Running + Small amounts of food = ✨ Thinness ✨
Well, that’s true, but there’s no health in that equation. And neither is common sense. Why running? I wouldn’t know. I guess I thought it was the most accessible thing I could do – legs, road. Onward and upward. Running, in my sick imagination, was always some kind of magical cure-all for obesity.
And, of course, like all self-respecting women who have been brainwashed by a magnificent society, I have spent my entire life trying to lose weight. My complexes have literally never left me alone. In 2016, I decided that I needed to get a grip on myself! So I did. Then I ate 1000-1200 kcal a day. Sometimes it was 900. I was running, cycling. It’s a mystery to me how I didn’t die from lack of energy. But I guess I was young, I had stamina. Eventually, I got my way and lost a lot of weight. But to my surprise (no), even then I thought that it was not enough and needed more.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, all this story quickly ended after I graduated from the Institute and went to work. I was no longer up to jogging and certainly not up to counting calories. I ate whatever I could and did not think about the consequences.
Then I got married and… And no diets. Pizza for dinner, something greasy for lunch. Chocolate, cookies, muffins. My best life. And my worst weight. In the background, I was still trying to pull myself together, to clean up. But somehow it wasn’t working. It’s hard to be a workaholic and spend time on yourself when you work from 9am to 8pm. Constantly learning something and gnawing away at your career steps. I had other priorities in my life back then, I was building a career and wanted to make as much money as possible for a better life. There was no balance in my lifestyle at all. There was only work.
Looking at my activity diary is very sad and fun at the same time. I tried all the time, every year, to get a grip on myself. And every year I failed. It’s only now that I’ve realized why. But that’s a long story that I’ll address separately.
My activity over the last 10 years looks something like this:
- May – July 2016, average distance 3-3.5 km. That’s when I was most determined to pull myself together and got my tortured result.
- May – June 2017, 2-3 km. An attempt to start doing something, which was limited to a few runs.
- Also had an attempt to start running in 2019, literally two runs.
- March – July 2020, very erratic and spontaneous workouts in the gym on the track, somewhere around 2.5 km each
- September – November 2021, attempts to start running after moving to Poland. Distance of about 3 km. It was then that I hated myself so much that I tortured myself for the first five kilometers. After that five, I quit running with the feeling that I had reached my ultimate goal. Then a month later I got depressed and developed thyroid problems.
- August – September 2022. Trying to get sports back into my life. Jogged a little at the gym.
- August – October 2023, 2-3 km. After moving to the Netherlands. In November I stopped running because I was afraid of the local weather (I was still inexperienced).
- May 2024 until now. There were months when I did not run much and limited myself to 2-3 runs. This was caused by moving and vacations. But in general I have at least one run a week. This is where I ran my first 5 and 10 kilometer runs, which brought me pleasure rather than misery.
And right now, I’ve finally found balance in my life. I’ve made my physical and mental health a priority. I turned running from something that felt like torture into a natural part of my daily life. I didn’t do it because I wanted to lose weight — I did it because I wanted to feel healthier and move freely. Moreover, I lost weight to run faster and improve my results, not to be ✨thin✨ or ✨beautiful✨.
I’m just a human trying to live my life and stay happy.
If I could do it, I truly believe you can too. All you need is to be honest with yourself, set the right goal, and keep supporting yourself along the way. Don’t overcomplicate it.
You’ll get there. Trust me.
